Adult children, relatives, and/or friends responsible for the care of a frail older adult - grandmother, mother, father, aunt, sister or even someone who is not related to them by blood - have an awesome responsibility and a formidable task. Yet, one could also view this responsibility as a grace-filled opportunity and a sacred trust. Who are more worthy of the best that we have to offer than those persons in our life who have birthed, raised, educated and nurtured us. In today’s world, unfortunately, many of our vulnerable, frail elderly are in situations where they are unsafe and fall prey to dangers within and without. For an older adult to have a son or daughter, niece or nephew, grandchild or friend providing care and support is a gift our communities and neighborhoods should never take for granted.

That being said, we know that those with the responsibility to care for a loved one, also have many other responsibilities as well – family responsibilities, work responsibilities, civic responsibilities.  Caregivers - it goes without saying - are themselves in need of support and care.

I would suggest 5 positive steps primary caregivers can take that can dramatically offset some of the effects of caregiver or compassion fatigue.

1. Find a quality, adult day care program. Adult day care provides a daily program that includes: nursing services, social services, individual care plans, socialization, cognitive stimulation, arts and crafts, music and more. Knowing that the person you love is safe and well and in what often becomes a community of friends can be a tremendous source of peace for you, the caregiver. Remaining employed and having time for other responsibilities is then possible as well.
2. Join a Caregivers Support Group. It has been shown over and over that periodically meeting with others who share your life experience and concerns provides a support that cannot be equaled elsewhere. Many adult day care centers provide this service and invite to the support group meetings professionals in the field of elder care that connect caregivers with other vital resources from which to draw.
3. Take advantage of Respite Care. Most agencies on aging provide a variety of services that allow a caregiver to take the necessary time away for rest, refreshment, and relaxation. A caregiver has the peace of knowing that the one they love is in good hands.
4. Seek out professional “talking” support. Often we hesitate to utilize the services of behavioral health care professionals but they are a tremendous source of support to a) help you understand what is happening with the person for whom you are responsible and to b) enable you, the caregiver, to talk over problems and concerns. At the very least, seek out the support of a trusted friend or confidante.
5. Ask for help. Don’t try to go it alone. There are many people in our network of relationships that would welcome an opportunity to lend assistance by providing respite time, assistance with doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping, housecleaning and a host of other needs that arise.

Share with me what’s on your mind…this blog in itself can be a source of support!

Marie McGuigan